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Scenario #1: You have bad news to deliver to your boss or another coworker. You missed a deadline, made a mistake, or otherwise screwed up.


The best approach here is to get to the point: “I have some news to share that I’m not proud of. I should’ve told you sooner, but here’s where we are.” Then describe the situation. If you have a few solutions, offer them up: “These are my ideas about how we might address this. What are your thoughts?” It’s important to own up that you made a mistake and not try to point out all the reasons you did what you did.


Scenario #2: You have a criticism or dissent to offer. Perhaps you disagree with the popular perspective or perhaps you’re talking to someone more powerful than you.



Figure out why the person thinks this is a reasonable proposal. You can say something like, “Sam, I want to understand what we’re trying to accomplish with this initiative. Can you go back and explain the reasoning behind it?” Get Sam to talk more about what he’s up to and why. Then you can present a few options for how to accomplish the same goal using a different approach.

* Dissent:異議


Scenario #3: You approach a coworker about something he or she messed up.


Here you don’t want to launch in right away, but ask permission to speak to the person about what happened: “Mary, can I have a moment to talk to you about something?” Then describe what happened. You can say: “I’m a little confused about what occurred and why it occurred. I want to discuss it with you to see how we can move this forward.” But don’t harp too long on what happened. Focus on figuring out a solution by engaging her with something like: “What can we do about this?


Scenario #4: You approach a colleague about feeling mistreated or you’re upset about something he or she said.


You don’t know what your coworker’s intent was; you only know that you’re upset. You can start off with something like: “Carl, It’s a little bit awkward for me to approach you about this, but I heard that you said X. I don’t know whether it’s true or not. Regardless, I thought I should come to you because I’m pretty upset and I thought we should talk about it.” The focus shouldn’t be on blaming the person but airing your feelings and trying to get to a resolution.


Of course, even if you follow this advice, sometimes there just aren’t the right words and it’s not possible to have a constructive discussion. Occasionally, you need to let it go and come back to it another time when you can both have the conversation. It’s OK to walk away and return to the discussion later, when you’re ready to make a smart and thoughtful choice about the words you want to use.



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QQ English線上英文 • 二月 25, 2015

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